| "Or if I do know exactly where I want to live, I'm always terrified that I'll regret the move later." I was almost literally born moving. Dad was in the Army with orders, and they let him/us stay where we were until I was born, then two weeks and go. I moved with my parents a lot in the Western US and Hawaii. The I joined the Navy, saw the world from Virginia to Hawaii to Kenya, and moved duty stations with my first wife a lot in the process. I did all that by the time I was 24, lived in Seattle 15 years then moved to Denver, where I've been another 15 years. I'm in my early 50s now. Besides the moving, I've lived what I think of as four fairly different lives, different friends, jobs, interests, relationships. I say all that partly to acknowledge that I look at moving and changing differently than a lot of people. It's not a big deal to me, and I usually look forward to it. It's difficult for me to understand what it's like to live in one place most of one's life, so my perspective is probably different than yours. All that said, when I look back at how much I've moved and settled comfortably, I think at your age you have more than enough time to move somewhere, decide you don't like it, and move again. And maybe again. Moving at all is something of an existence proof: if it doesn't work out, you can do it again. Nothing needs to be permanent. If you want permanence, it's OK if you don't get it the first time out. I have liked and profited from everywhere I've lived, everyone I've known and everyone I've been. Most types of change are a gift. No choices have to be 100% correct, which is good because they won't be. "I have no idea where I want to live, no idea what I want to be doing, no idea where I want to be doing it and no idea what will actually make me happy." Suggestions, tailor as needed. Try stuff. Treat your career as necessary but secondary for awhile, as something to support everything else. Focus on fun things outside of work. Outlandish things. Go skydiving. Go skydiving in a foreign country. Go skydiving naked. (I can enthusiastically recommend all of the last three.) Get yourself into really, really good shape if you aren't already. Become a gym rat. (I recommend Crossfit, sometimes discussed here, but anything that isn't 24 Hour Fitness/Big Box will do.) Learn to fly, models or full sized. Get really good at Bridge. Get good enough at Poker to make a living at it. Form a startup around Poker or Bridge or flying or naked skydiving. Travel as much as possible, short and long trips, with and without your girlfriend. Learn a foreign language, and go live and work where they speak it. Immerse yourself in your favorite instrument. Take up a martial art. Try stuff, lots of stuff. Be like that guy in that Jim Carrey movie and say yes to (almost) everything. Open up to the world, and let the world show you what interests you. Or as my aunt says, rise up, go forth and fake it. You don't have to know that whatever you try next is going to be "it," you just have to try it. When you get to the other end you'll have a lot of cool pictures and stories. |