| Scene: FDA officials appearance at the House Committee on Energy and Commerce (Subcommittee on Health) Representative 1: We've been following this antibacterial resistance case closely for a few years now. Every year, a greater number of my constituents have related to me the story of how they lost a loved-one due to MSRA - and staph infection, as I understand, isn't even the only thing that this, uhh, the resistance to bacteria dru--err- medications. So, as you know, we've asked you here today to better understand how we can plan to solve this looming crisis. What have you got for us? FDA1: Well, generally speaking, we've been working with a number of the same antibiotics that have been in use for many decades now. Their effectiveness has been continuously diminishing since the first introduction of each antibiotic. The general consensus here at the FDA is, we need to encourage the development and mass production of multiple new drugs to combat the inevitable growing resistance. REP2: And what is it that you mean by inevitable? FDA2: If I may field this question - what my colleague is referring to here is the fact that long-term exposure to specific antibiotics necessarily results in resistance to the same. REP3: So, you're talkin' about evolution here, right? Just so we're all on the same page. (Indistinguishable snickering throughout the room) FDA2: Ye-- That's one way to describe it. REP2: So what exactly is it that you need from us to enact your plan? FDA1: Well, that's why we came to you. You see, it's not a very lucrative business opportunity -- developing a new antibiotic. Our custo-- your constituents would have to buckle their belts a little, because we need at least $30 million more for our budget to be pumped into early research in the university system. (The whole crowd erupts in laughter!) REP1: Hahahaha! Tax reallocations in this political climate! Don't get me started... But we did tell you to give us your pie in the sky ideas first, so what else do you have for us today? FDA3: The abuse of antibiotics in the livestock industry is not onl-- REP2: Oh no... We've been through this before. How else are we going to get chickens big enough to feed the world? FDA1: Well, there's an other option too. We could stop using antibacterial soaps more than necessary in hospitals, which as you know, are the hotbeds of new infe-- REP1: Let me stop you right there. Do you even have any idea as to how much we spent on the last - washing your hands saves lives - campaign? If our const-- your patients knew that you were just washing your hands with regular soap, do yo-- no. Not even an option. We don't want to call you here again for this same issue next year. FDA4: What if we just banned them for personal use? No one would be negatively affected, and it would appear to be a decisive action to solve the problem. REP1: That does sound reasonable... Any objections from the committee? REP4: No, I don't have any soap manufacturers in my state-- hahaaha REP1: Then a voiced vote shall suffice. All those in favor |