[elliotec]

I'd disagree with your statement that "the van isn't a big deal" in your last sentence.

If you feel that you have to be upfront with everyone about living in a van, it sort of becomes an enormous part of your identity, which I would call a big deal.

[geocar]

I think he means that it isn't interfering with his romantic life.

Some people (especially programmers) use the expression "it's not a big deal" to indicate something is straightforward (when you're thinking about it correctly), not to quantify its importance.

[tdobson]

Yeah. It rules out some people. It's attractive to some people. Clearly rules oneself out from others.

It doesn't really matter because with dating - you only need to win once.

[VLM]

The analogy I've seen used on other sites is its like a food allergy, which is extremely important when selecting a restaurant or buying picnic food, but it doesn't significantly impair or impact social activity, or it only impacts it as much as you permit it to make you feel bad.