[godshatter]

I saw this first hand when my dad was dying. Now I respond to people who tell me about a loved one who is dying with something like "I'm sorry, how's he holding out?" or "I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know." The last one means, essentially, if you need someone to have a beer with so you can release what's been bottled up, I'm here for you.

The first couple of times I received platitudes, it irked me. Later I realized they were just trying to make me feel better and took it for what it was. Not everyone has gone through this, either themselves or with a loved one.