[hgh]

To follow on from your excellent second point - "actually be involved in the conversation"

People understandably don't appreciate if you're parroting back to them what they said (even paraphrased) so that you can appear to be an "active listener".

The reason to repeat what someone said exactly (useful in case you legitimately just missed an important phrase) or paraphrase is because you didn't fully understand what they said and you genuinely want to understand the point. Asking follow-up questions to drive discovery and enjoyment is next.

Being a good listener is about being humble, respectful and present. Turns out that's easier said than done.