I have this problem too. It's not hard to set up, there are just so many tiny pieces that need to be run by hand that it's going to take a human well over an hour to read through the docs and get it right.
Someone made a Saltstack state[1] that I've used and had some success with - installing and configuring Salt from zero and using this config is still faster than installing Phabricator by hand.
Gitlab is unfortunately a pig, in the large and bloated sense of the term. Which is really sad! I love the app, it looks better than Phabricator and does so much more, but then I can throw Phabricator on the same droplet I use for plenty of other stuff with resources to spare for $5/month, where Gitlab would require a dedicated $10 instance just due to memory usage alone.
Someone made a Saltstack state[1] that I've used and had some success with - installing and configuring Salt from zero and using this config is still faster than installing Phabricator by hand.
[1]: https://github.com/bougie/salt-phabricator-formula