[ripitrust]

I doubt that this will ever work in countries other than China because women (and marriage) in other countries are mostly protected by law, while in china, women are not so well protected. Also, culturally speaking, a divorced woman is very hard to get marriage in China. While a divorced man is easy. In society, People think that "divorce" somehow depreciated the value of a woman, while "divorce" means nothing (sometimes positive thing) for a man. Also, after marriage, Chinese woman will not focus mostly on work or career promotion but rather on family, so in the long term, they are 1) financially attached to the husband 2) emotionally attached to the husband. This makes them want to "fix" the marriage rather than abandon it, even if the fix is superficial and (maybe) temporary.

But as more and more young women (born after 80s and 90s) are married, this kind of issue may be mitigating. Because young women tend to be much well-educated and wealthy

[maguowei]

I am a Chinese. as far as I know, even the relatively backward rural areas currently divorce has become more common. I d'not know what is progress?

[branchless]

surely the one child policy will give women an upper hand in the coming 20 years?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_China#/media/F...

[Isofarro]

All things being equal, yes women would have the upper hand.

But cultural norms warp things a little more. The cultural tendency is for a man to marry down, and a women marry up in social level terms.

Which means there's a layer of women near the top who can't find a husband. Particularly in professional careers. And the lowest social rung of men have no women to marry down.

This asymmetry means there's a band of powerful and successful women who don't normally find husbands. They become China's "leftover women", who have basically given up on the idea of marriage beyond the age of 27. One recent solution here is these women look abroad for suitable husbands. Despite being negged annually, the social stigma of not marrying up takes many options away from women.

[colmvp]

I always find it strange how we make it seem like mate criteria is sacrosanct and beyond critique.

I get that norms are strong. But in tech, we are constantly asked to question norms all the time and at times, deliberately counterbalance them. Surely we should also question social norms that inform our thinking in finding a mate? Especially if the person is having trouble finding someone suitable.

If I were to say to you I had trouble finding a woman, I don't think people here would say, "hey you should look at dating someone overseas." I think people might suggest opening my scope to other ethnicities/body types/meeting opportunities.

[robocat]

China's "leftover women: [the phrase] is part of an orchestrated state campaign to push “high-quality” women into marriage and having children. The phenomenon of “leftover women” was actually created by the Chinese government through a “very aggressive state media campaign.”

The problem has been named and created, whereas the initial reality was different.

http://xpatnation.com/in-the-new-china-educated-unmarried-le...

[chongli]

No, because even though there may be fewer young, attractive women due to the policy there are still hardly any wealthy, single men, comparatively speaking.

[franciscop]

In Japan I would say it is similar, maybe not up to such extend but also in the same way

[ripitrust]

Yeah I heard about that, it is sad that Japan women are suffering from this too.

[ZLeviathan]

wow, as a Chinese myself, I agree on everything you said. Well put!

[ripitrust]

Thanks