[anonbiocoward]

> it violates a social norm

This story hit me pretty hard. While I was in medical school, my wife's family, especially her mother, routinely encouraged her to divorce me.

We had two small kids, and I had gone on job interviews and seen the offers I was getting without a graduate degree, despite a BS in physics and 7 years of experience. It was obvious to everyone that medical school was the right course of action in the long term but it would be hard.

I didn't realize it would get harder when her family started jumping on any opportunity to point out my "temporary financial embarrassment". On a day-to-day basis, she was working 40 hours a week and while med school was paid for, and I had a small stipend, her paycheck was better. And cognitively, she understood that. But her brothers and mother, and eventually her father told her to "get rid of him".

We stuck it out. They wonder why we don't fly across country to visit them much...

[reitanqild]

Impressed that you and your wife stuck together! Bet your kids will be too.

My father used to quote someone that "the best a man can do for his kids are to love their mother."

And: I feel sorry that this can actually happen to people.

[zaroth]

Thank you for that reply!

[vonklaus]

Interesting. Clearly there were hardships involved and getting an MD is a non-trivial financial and time commitment. However, at least in popular culture, an MD is a highly respected career path and often the joked about target for 'gold diggers'. Sure, it isn't marry a student, but it is a pretty well regarded track socially, financially and educationally.

[twelve40]

Wow, it must have been such a pain going through all that! Good job handling the pressure, hope it only gets better from then on.