| There's a good chance that in x number of years the accumulated toll of the now near subliminal low grade stress of the city will reach a tipping point. At the start the excitement and glamour masks the near subliminal, slow, consistent erosion of inner coherence that nyc produces in humans. But in time accumulated erosion will become evident. Your insides will be knotted up and tightly coiled, and you won't even know it, because humans can get used to almost anything. Your fellow denizens are experiencing it as well, and many cover and compound the feeling with excessive alcohol consumption, and status seeking. One day a tipping point will be reached. But you will think to yourself, "but if I leave nyc, where will I go? Where else is there?" The city is a parasitical mind virus that takes over your decision making, in order to extract rents from you. But there is still a faint penumbra of humanity inside of you. And it will want out. But you will be scared. FOMO, and a feeling that outside the city you will be socially isolated. Well I am here to tell you that cool small towns and cities are out there. They have enough smart and interesting people to easily fill up your Dunbar number limit. You can only really know and relate to 150 humans, we don't need 7 million surrounding us, and online dating apps have changed the social scene in small towns and cities. There are plenty of young women (or men) around you, even in smaller towns with an older median age. Your range will have to increase, but for that we have cars. In nyc it can easily take an hour and a half to travel five miles via public transit. tldr; it's not binary between nyc and bumfuck suburbs, and even many small 'boring' towns have a lot more culture, singles, restaurants and bars than you would think, or at least more than I thought. My feelings on moving back to a small town halfway between NYC and Boston as a still fairly young single are probably best expressed by the Grateful Dead in their song Shakedown Street: "Don't tell me this town ain't got no heart. You just gotta poke around." |