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There are a few things you can do to get over toxic behavior partially, but it is tough to do completely; it's a one-day-at-a-time thing. I've been through plenty of rough spots, and the best thing to do is to take care of yourself (talk to doc or dentist about sleep apnea, lose weight through exercise, get a checkup, etc.) and change your attitude. The latter is tough, so I'll focus on that: Many of us got into development or IT because we love technology, and we love technology because it can really help people and it can be done correctly- just humming along in the background enabling everything, or providing extremely cool things that we help create or setup. But then, you throw in people. People are great. People manipulated silicon, germanium, copper, plastic, etc. People came up with logic, operating systems, applications, and art. People really come up with some great shit. But people also do things that are at odds with the research, development, and running of all of that beautiful tech. It doesn't matter what role they have or how smart they are, at some point, almost every person has screwed something up in the mind of someone else. They might have great motivations, too- really admirable! They might want to save costs to help the companies grow and provide jobs and a bigger paycheck for their families. They might be complete morons, but are probably doing the best they can. In the end, it is important that we try to work with all of these people. We can't hope to fully understand motivations of people and manipulating them for our own ends is probably not a good idea. We can only do our best to work with each other to accomplish what we hope is great and do it while helping each other and everything around us. So, what do you do? Realize how lucky you are to be where you are and have what you have. See how you could help others, whether it is in a different place in the world or right there in your workplace. Understand that it's not just about you, or the people you help, but there is something much bigger going on, and we are only a small part of it. We don't have control over everything, but we do have control over ourselves. Just do your best each and every day with the gifts you were given. |