Software I have to 3x over provision to keep alive is crappy software.
ElasticSearch is by far one of the most obnoxious software programs I ever have the misfortune to administer. I now avoid self hosting it at all costs.
You don't "3x overprovision" Elasticsearch in particular, you should always provision a minimum of 3 nodes for any highly-available clustered DB. 1 node may fail, you're down. With 2 nodes you can develop a partition or lose a node and neither node can elect itself master, you're down. With 3 nodes, you can lose a node or develop a partition, the other 2 nodes can reach a quorum on a new master and continue operating.
This is how it should work, in theory. However, in practice, with ES whenever a single node went down the whole cluster would fail. Trying to add a new member to the cluster never worked, nor did trying to recover the failed node, hence the cluster-swap.
It doesn't help that their logging (at least pre v2) is incredibly dense.
ES clusters will fail on the loss of a single node if you aren't running any replicas on your shards, but that's not really ES's fault. I've occasionally had a node just wig out and need to be restarted, but that's like a once-a-year thing, and I'm working on a ~TB cluster that processes a ridiculous number of writes - this isn't an underworked cluster by any means. As long as your cluster discovery mechanism is set up properly, adding and removing nodes from the cluster is about as easy as it gets. I'm certainly not saying that your experience wasn't valid, but my own experience with it has been that it's remarkably easy to manage.
ES was pretty brittle in the pre-1.x days, but from 1.0 onward it's quite easy to work with. The logging is dense, but that's because it's thorough - a feature I really quite appreciate.