[Swizec]

> If I had walked in, and baseball was showing on the television, it would be completely unthinkable for me to grab the remote and change it to Friends.

Why?

I wonder if she ever tried, or just assumed it was unthinkable. I suspect it was less unthinkable than she thinks it was. From the rest of the story, it sounds like not only was it thinkable for people to try to change the channel, it was expected even. Otherwise the joke wouldn't work.

As people on imgur like to say: Do Thing. Maintain eye contact. Assert dominance.

You have to establish boundaries. If people are doing shit you don't want them to, stop them. As a general rule, people will treat you the way you let them treat you.

edit: I wonder how many people downvoting me are assuming I write this as a member of The In-Group. Okay I am a guy, but that's where the ingroupness stops for various reasons that would take a while to list.

[patates]

> Assert dominance

IMO this is discrimination. You may get away with suggesting a specific role, maybe a negotiator, would need to have/develop this ability. As a very accepting and peaceful guy, I really feel bad (insecure, even) when people assert that I need to be dominant to be successful.

BTW, I'm not trying to explain why you are being down-voted as I didn't, wouldn't (and also can't) down-vote you.

[Swizec]

It's tongue-in-cheek.

You don't have to be dominant to be successful. But you can't be a pushover.

If something bothers you, you have to speak up. Immediately and decisively. The first time it happens. Not when it becomes the established social norm.

If you speak up, normal mature people will say something like "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize that bothered you. I'll be more careful.". They might push back, if they think you're pushing too far or too hard because of whatever pre-existing beliefs.

But it's a dynamic balance. Both sides have to push and pull. Without active participation from everyone, teams become imbalanced and less effective.

[patates]

This makes much more sense, thank you for your explanation.

[fleitz]

Exactly.

Life doesn't just walk up to you and hand you opportunties because you grew up this way or that way, if you want to survive you fight. If you don't want to fight, get to the back of the line for resources.