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by dclowd9901 3665 days ago
Living in Portland now after moving from SF. Jarring at first how many people will actually just look at you, and half the time will actually pop a quick "Mornin'" or "Hi" to you. A friend from NYC was here visiting and expressed how much it freaked him out to have people looking at him in the eye -- given his experience, he felt like they were being aggressive or nosy.

Anyway, having originally been from a small rural town in Arizona (where many people just knew each other by last name), it really bothered me how people in SF would seem to actively ignore your existence.

4 comments

As a Swede coming to SF, it was a refreshing eye-opener how some people actually talked to strangers at all. Here in Sweden, it's literally just panhandlers, salespeople, drunks and the mentally deranged who talk to strangers in public. Every time I have been abroad, I try to bring some of that spontaneity and sociability with me back home.
I've found plenty of people in SF will look at you, the real problem is figuring out how to connect with them as an introvert. If all you want is for them to do the former just hit the gym more as fitness is a mainstream way to at least have a mutual appreciation of each other in this city, beyond just connecting with other devs and ops people via your open source contributions.
>it really bothered me how people in SF would seem to actively ignore your existence.

This city is full of insane mental patients walking the streets, which puts normal people on the defensive. You very quickly learn to never make eye contact while walking around, just keep moving and try to ignore it.

I never actually had that shock, and I grew up just north of NYC (near White Plains, a quick train ride right into Manhattan). You quickly learn to size people up and know who is likely to try to sell you something, often by how they dress, their mannerisms, and how they approach you.