[p4wnc6]

I think I already feel that way to a strong degree. As I mentioned in my post, I dislike laurel-resting and want to be judged based on talent and work ethic, aspects that have earned me far more praise through my efforts than anything from my university accomplishments. But at the same time, succeeding and winning fellowships and awards in difficult university programs still is at least some degree of evidence of skill and grit, and it's reasonable to be disappointed if others choose to wholly discount it.

As for not mattering in the grand scheme of things, yes of course, that much has been obvious since I was a teenager. I liked a certain Robin Hanson quote when someone replied to his post called "Impatient Idealism" -- at which point he says, "News flash: you are just one of seven billion, so you aren’t going to personally make much difference. The world will have nearly as many problems worth solving then as now, with or without your help." [0]

That quote has been often on my mind at least since 2012 when I first read it.

[0] http://www.overcomingbias.com/2012/11/a-young-idealist-respo...

[smilingtom]

Can I chat with you some time? You are basically who I am going to grow up to be in ~15 years and I'd like to know more about where I'm headed.