[dfraser992]

Perhaps it is more a function of my age, but if the person was polite about it - but hadn't taken the time to inform me beforehand - then I'd be 'ah.. well, I wish you had told me. Anyway, please have some more brussel sprouts..." "Growing up" means learning to not be so porous to other people's emotional states.

It's really about the nature of the interaction that is the important thing. If they had told me beforehand, and I forgot.. then I'd feel bad. If they copped an attitude about their superiority, then I'd be dismissive of them. But their comfort / emotional state etc is entirely their responsibility as long as I fulfill my responsibility to make them feel welcome - and kowtowing to them is not part of that.