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by noxToken 3690 days ago
To preface this, I am not excusing the guy's behavior. However, I think I understand why he may have thought it was alright to call her a MILF.

MILF became a really popular term in the early 00s. Back then, it was obviously vulgar. I think the term has been thrown around so casually, that to most people, it has lost its bite. Hell, morning zoo shows will drop MILF (even though the "F" is blatantly vulgar) without batting an eyes. To a lot of people, I don't think MILF generates the same reaction as outwardly saying, "She looks good. I'd like to fuck her." To him, it was probably analogous to saying, "You look good. Really good. We should go out sometime," with the subtext of sex after the date.

Again, I don't think he was right. Just trying to provide a rationale.
2 comments
DanBC 3690 days ago
> To him, it was probably analogous to saying, "You look good. Really good. We should go out sometime,"

Holy fuck don't say that to people at work, especially if when you ask for private communications they say "sure, so long as it's work related".

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dragonwriter 3690 days ago
> To him, it was probably analogous to saying, "You look good. Really good. We should go out sometime," with the subtext of sex after the date.

I think its kind of odd to see this as a defense of the acceptability (even subjective from the POV of the speaker) of a comment after a rejection, in a conversation between coworkers, that originated in a work-related forum even if it had an intervening change of venue.

That's, at best, only marginally less problematic in context than the original statement. So, yeah, it is basically analogous to saying that -- which is exactly the problem.

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noxToken 3690 days ago
I'm not defending him. When someone makes a transgression, especially such a blatant one, I always try to reason why would the person do that in the first place. If someone kills another person, it's very likely that they didn't do it just for fun.

So if an action is so egregious, why risk your career over it? I figure it's because he didn't equate MILF with crossing any line. Otherwise, why would he bother to regroup and try again after getting rejected? I cannot fathom why someone would act in such a way that they'd get fired if they knew beforehand that they were in the wrong . Which, as you said, is the issue: he (not me) didn't think that there was anything wrong with what he said.

And for the umpteenth time, his words and actions were NOT acceptable. I just want to reason through something that seems so obviously wrong to me.

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