[bshef]

Pick a popular, modern programming language, and go through the official tutorials. Then, think up a small project for yourself, one you can knock out in a weekend or perhaps over the course of a few weekends. Then do it. Maybe it's a little game, maybe it's a handy utility... it doesn't even have to be something new or unique in the world, as long as it is something you haven't done before.

There, now you can call yourself a coder. Want to upgrade to "programmer" ? Check out languages that are related to the one you just learned. They'll be easy to pick up, so repeat the process. AVOID FRAMEWORKS, and just focus on the language and officially-recommended tools.

Perhaps start tinkering with a Raspberry Pi or Arduino. Learn about the differences in operating systems between Windows, Mac OS, and Linux. Get familiar with Linux -- Ubuntu is a great starting place if you're coming from a Windows background.

Make sure you understand the fundamentals of how computers WORK. In particular, experimenting with x86 assembly language will help bridge the gap between what your modern code says, and how your processor interprets the instructions. Also peek into learning things such as Discrete Mathematics (the math of logic), and State Machines and other theoretical concepts of computer science. You probably won't use this knowledge directly in the real world, but it's the backbone of all computer science... and you will have to take classes that cover this material to get a computer science degree.