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The only feedback I've got was not being man enough That's a seriously mean, low-class, gut-punch thing to say to someone you're breaking up with. You're WAY better off, not hanging around people who can say things like this. You sound like a really nice, plenty-manly person already. What a bunch of crap. However - when humans hear an insult like that - our lizard-brain goes into overdrive, trying to "fix" what some jerk said was "wrong" with us. It's just the way we're wired. Old lizard-brain puts us in an obsessive loop, trying to prove that "we're not what they said." And it's usually some cheap generic insult like stupid, lazy, ugly, fat, never amount to anything, or, yes, "not man enough." Here's a question that can help break that loop - what do YOU like to do? What activities make you feel stronger, healthier, happier, and more centered inside yourself? That is where true power and, yes, "manliness" resides. Being around mean, abusive, or violent people, can obliterate any idea of what your own preferences and interests might be. It can take some trial and error to figure it out. I'm personally not attracted to "manly" men. I find that sh*t tiresome. I like guys who are kind, affectionate, respectful, and optimistic. Those qualities say "manly" to me. Edited to add: Having a variety of skills and competencies IS super attractive. Being able to make things, do things, fix things, whether it's benching 300, writing clean code, or cooking dinner. So is taking responsibility for your stuff and not whining. HTH. |