[Mahh]

I think a few visits to a therapist may help you discover more about yourself. (Though I do think some people associate 'going to therapy' as 'having problems', I see it also just as a resource for guiding introspection. There probably is not any "problem" you need to "fix"... it can just be a way to discover yourself.)

In your case, topics like emotional attachment style come to mind. Some people just grow up learning to condition their emotions become more numb... though in some cases it also becomes harder to become excited about things.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory#Anxious-avoi...

This is not to say that this is how you are... since it's not like I actually know you or your childhood, etc. But this is certainly a topic that I'm reminded of when I hear your example, and something like therapy can be an interesting way to dive into this.