[cliffcrosland]

Anecdotal data point: my father was an entrepreneur for 100% of my childhood. It was rare for him to miss dinner with us, and he attended easily more than 60% of our extracurricular events. He'd often work from home late after we went to sleep, sometimes sleeping next to the phone to take customer support calls 12-5am. He had freedom to spend time with family and worked sufficient hours to achieve successful outcomes for his businesses. I think this form of scheduling is effective. Another anecdote: apparently Sheryl Sandberg also eats dinner with her family every day but works from home late at night and early in the morning.

[ncarroll]

My dad was a traveling salesman (self-employed) and he was away a lot during the week, but only in the Winter. He was always home on weekends. That's when Mom "slept in" (I suspect, with a good book and a cup of coffee). As long as their bedroom door was closed, the rule was that kids should "go ask your Dad".

So we did, and he took us swimming, ice skating, sledding, we had sock fights (with rolled up knee socks) and cooked breakfast together.

During the summers he did most of his business via the telephone from his home office. He was nearly always available for waterskiing or whatever other bit of kid-fun popped into our goofy little heads.

I think, if I asked him, he wouldn't be of the opinion that he gave up anything to spend time with his family. I think he'd tell me that "giving something up" is what you do when you replace it with something you want to do less.

From here it looks like he just went with the flow. It was simple, he lived by the rules he laid upon his children. We all did what we "had to do" (work, school) when it was the time to do it. And then, we were free to play the rest of the time.

Edit: to clarify Dad's employment status.

[mootothemax]

>It was rare for him to miss dinner with us, and he attended easily more than 60% of our extracurricular events... I think this form of scheduling is effective.

Thanks for posting this. As a parent of small kids, this is pretty much well what I'm doing right now, and it's lovely and reassuring to see that your father's scheduling worked out for you.

Before kids, being able to define my own working hours was awesome; now with small children, it's working out really well, and "being there" is a noticeable quality-of-life thing, especially when you're not having to ask for a boss' permission to do so!

[chris11]

Sleeping next to the phone to take customer support calls sounds really tough. I don't think I could do that for long.

[unwind]

It's probably not too unlike sleeping next to a baby, though. Something that wakes you up randomly and is sometimes very hard to calm back down ...

[madaxe_again]

My father worked for a series of banks and brokers, and I never saw him - in no small part because as soon as I was old enough (6) I was shipped off to boarding school.

not being an entrepreneur likewise doesn't mean that it's happy family time, all the time.

Some folks want a relationship with their children, others don't.