[splintercell]

> I rarely gave a moment's thought to my peers' gender because I was thinking about the important part, what I was actually doing: and for the most part, save for a couple of sexist teachers (who were - an even bigger crime - totally useless at the subject they were trying to teach) nor did they. <

Something I have been coming around to understand. There are two kinds of people.

a) People who live their lives for themselves

b) People who live their lives for approval and satisfaction of others

It's really important for people who live their lives for others that they get approval and validation from others. Without it, they won't ever take risks, they wouldn't hold strong opinions on anything (because that carries the risk of being wrong).

You don't care about women engineer/programmer/scientist or anything because you didn't care about living a life whose end goal is approval from other people.

However, those individuals who do live like this, something is worth doing only if others are doing it too because it means a general validation from the others.

The problem of seeking other people's validation exists everywhere, across all genders. The solution is to teach people to not live second hand lives.

[insickness]

>People who live their lives for approval and satisfaction of others

Every human being seeks the validation from others. We are social creatures. It matters to us what other people think. We all live in the minds of others to some extent or another. We don't do things just for money, or just to get the job done. We do things because we know that someone, somewhere will appreciate our work.

In fact, I would argue that all of mankind's greatest accomplishments have been the result of 'validation seeking.' The Nobel Prize, an Olympic Gold medal, a Pulitzer Prize--all are forms of awarding validation.

[splintercell]

> Every human being seeks the validation from others. <

Seeking validation from others and getting validation are two different things and you're confusing the two things.

People who 'seek validation' end up being extremely unhappy individuals. They seek validation because they see people who 'get validation' and want to emulate them.

If computers and coding wasn't a way by which I made living, I'd still be spending hours on it outside my work, like how people spent hours working on rebuilding old cars in 70s-80s. I used to get a LOT of shit for 'wasting' so much time on computers and not focusing on studies (90s). I still did it because I enjoyed it. If I was a child today, my parents would have been exhilarated that I was so much interested in Computers.

I am sure if we encouraged a lot more women to get into programming, there will be a lot more women programmers, but the problem is that they will be unimpressive programmers.

It's like aspiring to become a body builder, but refusing to left anything heavy in the gym, and fighting people who give you crap for not lifting more.

Instead, do things you would do, even if nobody in the world encouraged you and you will find that the world will rally around you.

[david927]

First, there really is a range: some people don't seek really almost any approval (and often seem crazy) and others who utterly define themselves by what people think of them.

Second, I would argue that the opposite: that all of mankind's greatest accomplishments have been the result of 'validation avoidance.' Van Gogh was well-known because he didn't need validation. He did his art regardless of it not selling, regardless of what happened. He would be mocked for stopping by the side of the road and staring at a flower for hours, but he didn't care.

And that's the sign of a true creativity. If you're concerned about what people will think, you're not going to be able to innovate. Prizes are nice, but for real innovators, they're never the motivation.

[splintercell]

Or to put it this way, 'validation follows true achievements'. 'Seeking validation always results in fake achievements'.

[roymurdock]

> all of mankind's greatest accomplishments have been the result of 'validation seeking.'

Some people are motivated by validation, doing what they do for the prize and the recognition.

Others are motivated by something else...a thirst for knowledge, or a test of their determination and intelligence. Some great thinkers and doers reject these prizes outright as they never wanted the recognition in the first place.

Most people are motivated by a combination of the two, which is fine. Different strokes for different folks.

[LyndsySimon]

> The problem of seeking other people's validation exists everywhere, across all genders. The solution is to teach people to not live second hand lives.

A mere upvote was not enough; this needs to be echoed.