[alecbaldwinlol]

The real favor is to deny tenure for your fuckin ass, cause a loser is a loser!

I drove here in a 2014 Subaru, you rode here on a bike, THAT'S my name!

EDIT: btw for everyone downvoting me- tech industry is bullshit, funding down, layoffs coming, and you are worried about DOWNVOTING quality comedic content??

You think this site still has a purpose?! LOL!

[bitwize]

"The correlations are weak." The fucking correlations are weak? YOU'RE weak. I've been on this faculty for fifteen years...

[alecbaldwinlol]

A-B-C. A Always. B Be. C Correlating. Always be correlating. ALWAYS BE CORRELATING.

A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention, do I have your attention. Interest, are you interested, I know you are because it's publish or walk. You get published or you hit the bricks!

Decision, have you MADE your DECISION for 10 years of soul-crushing underpaid labor?

And action....

EDIT: also, "what's your name?"

Fuck YOU! THAT'S my name!

[justinlardinois]

And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's journal. You can't publish them.

[alecbaldwinlol]

They're sitting out there waiting to give you citations! Are you man enough to take it?

These are the new grants. These are the NSF grants. To you, they're gold, and that's why you, don't get them....

because to give them to you is to throw them away...

[music]

Bike? Luxurious. I have to walk.

[bitwize]

Well, it is fuck or walk...

[alecbaldwinlol]

The bike is luxurious? The fuckin bike is luxurious?! You're luxurious!!!!

My old college town had free busses to be fair. But you can get a bike for like, a few weeks worth of not eating