[anthk]

"Of course, I have no idea how to CLOSE emacs, so I'll close the window. ;)"

What if you read the welcome screen, Mr. Scott ;) ?

[rejschaap]

"C-x C-c... what does that even mean?"

[btreesOfSpring]

<esc> : q <enter>

[abiox]

E37: No write since last change (add ! to override)

[MichaelGG]

ZQ or ZZ

[nathanyo]

I always use :x

[anthk]

You have literally the answer in the welcome screen.

[shanselman]

It was a joke. ;)