[JabavuAdams]

Your thinking is broken because you have a mental illness. You say you've been through this before so that means you can get out of it again.

I've been through similar episodes of planning for isolation and suicide. You need to get help. I mean you can always kill yourself later, right? Might as well try to get help first.

There are many, many options and the technology is getting better.

I almost jumped off a bridge a month ago. Over what? Not marking some fucking assignments for my students? Not being a billionaire? Turning 40?

You may hate yourself right now, but there are people who love you and who would be devastated by your death.

Get help! Try again! Keep trying. You've been through this before, so you can get out of it again.