[joslin01]

The reason why therapy has little use to you is because right now you're very stubbornly defining your happiness. What good does anyone's words mean to you -- you who think you have sacrificed happiness.

I been there and said similar things to myself while holding the mask proud for others to marvel at. You need to learn that you don't need anything to make you happy. Happiness is found within. If you never accept this, you will spend a tragic life seeking outside for what is found within.

Be grateful for the times you had and forgive her for no longer being by your side. Is it not arrogance otherwise? Don't you love her? Do what's best for her then and right now, that means focusing on yourself. It is wasted time trying to run from your problems. Approach them honestly without defense. Do not dictate their solution, but try to listen instead and you might be surprised at how they dissipate.

Remember, thoughts and actions are but expressions of your beliefs. The belief that you can only be happy with girl {X} is an attack upon yourself you currently do not recognize. What you do recognize is your desire to attack yourself physically. The next step is understanding why you wish to attack yourself.

God does not will this kind of life for you, and also learn that you are already in hell. Enlightenment comes from within and the devil is the great deceiver. You are merely deceived by a voice that is defining what your happiness is. Let it go and you'll watch your suffering go and you'll laugh that you ever thought your happiness could be assailed.