[apalmer]

Its not working out for you, maybe it doesnt work for you. Therapy works for many people however so I would suggest you do not put people off from it although it does not work for you.

As far as it goes i dont think therapy works by teaching you something 'new' that you cant get out of a book. Thats like saying excersize doesnt work because you have done all the motions before. Therapy when it works is largely about opening yourself up and committing to reprogramming yourself and going through a bunch of effort and seeing that going through the mechanical process of therapy does have some minimal value and realizing you are in control of your own mind to some degree and using that tiny minuscule victor as a 'hope' that keeps you moving forward.

I wish you well, i wish i could say more. I feel you.