[WorldMaker]

Following the Dispute Resolution Policy [1], NPM would have been CCed on the entire chain. This is tl;dr item #2 right at the top:

«2.Email the author, CC [e-mail]»

Given other context in the exchange, I would give Bob the benefit of the doubt that he followed Item #2 here and did CC NPM in this discussion.

Additionally Bob is correct that as soon as the F-bomb was thrown it was a clear intent by Azer not to deal amicably with the situation and also a clear violation of the Code of Conduct [2], which is not mentioned in this article because it is directly invoked/linked in by the Dispute Policy, but is also applicable to the actions taken here.

[1] https://www.npmjs.com/policies/disputes [2] https://www.npmjs.com/policies/conduct

[jsprogrammer]

Bob clearly started the vulgarities by dropping a D-bomb (and labeling himself and KIK one) in the opening clause of his second email.

KIK|Bob never intended to act amicably and, in fact, admitted as such in cold text.

>We don't mean to be a dick about it, but...

NPM seems to have ignored this blatant violation of their dispute policy and didn't even engage in conversation.

[WorldMaker]

That certainly reads to me as an attempt to be colloquially amicable. Certainly it would have put a better foot forward if he had started with something more like "We are trying to do the right thing and...", but minor self-effacing obscenities are something we Americans tend to use in a colloquial, "buddy buddy" way to suggest that we are aware of the complexities of the situation and empathize with the other person's plight and how they must see us. It certainly read amicably to me, but I can also see why it may not read that way to others, especially with out vocal pattern contextual information, and that it may in fact only add to the confusion of the resulting conversation.

(Thinking about it, I wonder if this is something of an l10n/i18n issue... Oh the wonders of global communications and how it can break down.)

[MatthewWilkes]

The whole thing reads to me as a cultural misunderstanding. At least, I wouldn't consider the Kik messages to be be anywhere near appropriate language or tone. Given that npm seemed to be fine with it, I guessed that it's not unacceptable to American ears, but my emotional reaction probably would have been along the same lines as the original author.

[jsprogrammer]

NPM should not have been fine with it [0]. KIK|Bob's language is in violation of npm's stated Code of Conduct and Dispute Resolution process. If npm actually read KIK|Bob's emails that were sent to Azer, I don't see how they could have allowed that dispute to continue, let alone side with KIK|Bob.

[0] https://medium.com/@blakelapierre/bob-stratton-and-kik-inter...