[Mithaldu]

> 1) The perl cpan module doesn't resolve dependencies

What? CPAN absolutely does.

> 2) The cpan module has parsing errors when passing in a list of CPAN packages

Both from the commandline, and in CPAN itself can i install a list of modules as such:

    cpan Data::Dumper Devel::Confess
    
    install Data::Dumper Devel::Confess

> 3) You have to manually grep your perl code to see what modules it depends on

Or you can use a CPAN module for that.

> 4) Module installs take a long time since they can compile and unit test the code

Or you just install them like this, if you're confident in your system:

    install Data::Dumper Devel::Confess

> 5) Non-interactive installs of CPAN modules requires digging in the docs

Non-interactive installs should be using your operating system's package manager, unless you have a special use-case, in which some doc digging is fine.

> 6) CPAN modules aren't used that heavily and can have bugs that would be caught in wider used modules.

You mean "Some CPAN modules".

> 7) Perl devs don't think twice about shelling out to an external binary (that may or may not be installed)

Again, some.

> 8) Even if regexs are not needed, inevitably the perl dev will use them since that's the perl hammer

Eh, fair enough.

> 9) You have to manually include the DataDumper package to debug data structs

    Data::Dumper was first released with perl 5.005

> 10) You have to manually enable warnings and strict check, it's not on by default.

Same in JS, and similar with other languages.

> Anyhow, I think we've made a lot of progress since the 1990s. :)

Not really sure, the trolling culture seems to still be the same as back then.