[alva]

s/crazy chick/crazy dude/

Having a partner of either sex that also suffers mental illness (perhaps more severely than you do) can exacerbate un-healthy or unhelpful ways of thinking.

I don't think the writer was placing entire blame with the partner, but actually making a good point earlier about the psychological reinforcement from being around them

[afarrell]

I also suspect that this is the same person mentioned here: http://www.kennethreitz.org/essays/purging-the-unexpected-ne...

For many guys, "crazy chick" is the only language they have to describe an abusive relationship. It's not the most helpful phrase, so it's best replaced with a clearer one.

[RodericDay]

I thought it was amazing that Reitz volunteered an article such as this.

I wish he would change the reference to "crazy chick". Cause maybe some "crazy chicks" out there would benefit from the article (my mom suffered from an episode like the one he described, down to the angels).

I think it's particularly bad because a lot of people, such as my mom and sister, make the association that crazy is "how they are" because they are "artsy". And so, this article is demolishing that notion, since Reitz is such a tech superstar... but then it ends like that. Reinforcing the gap.

[kenneth_reitz]

It is the same person, but I wasn't referencing her in that manner here. Just saying "that loopy/nuts self-described yogini-shaman-spinner-of-bhakti here to raise the frequencies of the earth through x y z".

[chris_wot]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I have lived with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder, or at least borderline narcissistic personality disorder and it almost destroyed the dynamics of our share house.

That person has since got help. I've also cut them off, though I still communicate with them. They've asked for forgiveness, which I've given. But I don't have the strength in my current situation to engage with them in more than superficial ways.

Just be thankful you didn't encounter a psychopath - I believe there is a big overlap I the two conditions, it a psychopath is far, far more frightening and even more destructive.

[ronjouch]

> I don't think the writer was placing entire blame with the partner, but actually making a good point earlier about the psychological reinforcement from being around them

This. To badly reformulate a similar article found here (for which I can't recollect the author, sorry... maybe Glyph or Sivers?), "We are not islands, your close friends and loved ones kinda have root access to your brain. Given enough time / frequence, their own attitudes / biases / psychological problems become yours. And conversely, you'll inherit some of their strengths."

→ To come back to Kenneth's mention of the "crazy chick",

- It doesn't have to be framed negatively (interpreting it as Kenneth saying "damn crazy chick, she's the one to blame").

- Rather, maybe a more positive frame involving our own responsibility helps: "try as much as possible to surround yourself with sane, stable, caring people".

EDIT: hi downvoters, I'm surprised, care to elaborate?

[patio11]

That may have been me?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9910380

Why? Your peer group literally gets arbitrary code execution on your brain. (It's a flaw in MonkeyBrainOS 1.01 which we haven't patched yet.) You'll tend to find yourself valuing what they value. You will tend to find yourself achieving outcomes strikingly similar to their outcomes.

Given this, picking a peer group whose values are not your values and whose outcomes are terrible is a poor choice.

[pnathan]

By the way, Patrick - that's a really great quote; you could turn it into a super helpful essay/blogpost. I occasionally think of it as I interact with people who are choosing peer groups with poor outcomes.

[CPLX]

That is a remarkably pithy observation.

[ronjouch]

YES! Thanks :)

[CraigJPerry]

I read it as light humour. The tone of that line is very much in keeping with his humorous points in past writings (and code).

I don't know Kenneth but I've read enough of his writing to recognise his style.

I genuinely believe the grandparent is doing Kenneth a disservice here.

[RodericDay]

Many people read stuff that he advocates against, like "real hardcore engineers don't sleep", as "light humour".

It's cool that you recognize his voice, but if this article takes off because of its interdisciplinary nature, it is likely to get an audience that isn't composed exclusively of people who know his style.