[stvswn]

Your #1 hits home for me. Similar timeframe -- met at 16, married at 23, have been married happily for 7 years. We aren't the same people as when we first started dating.

It's hard for me to argue, rationally, that I happened to meet my one-and-only soulmate in high school. I think I got lucky because I married someone who valued marriage the same way I do. We both consider the marriage itself to be more important than either of us individually. We both came from stable families, so we have good examples to follow. It might not sound romantic, but we both could have probably committed fully to any number of people. As it stands, we committed to each other and the sum is greater than the parts.

I know other people are in tough situations, and I'm not saying that everyone should just "suck it up." I just think that marriages are more resilient when each person is secure in the knowledge that the other isn't considering leaving. It's hard to commit fully if divorce is an option on the table. When your thinking goes in that direction, you start resenting your partner for depriving you of that other life.