[Terr_]

> You're not proposing marriage here.

For me the biggest job-search hurdle is emotional... I know it sounds like one of those bullshit "you biggest weakness" dodges, but the idea of "looking elsewhere" is perilous.

I feels either like cheating (on my current employer) or else some sort of irrevocable sense of obligation towards whatever I'm asking about. ("How dare you waste my time with questions if you weren't already planning to accept an offer!")

[kevinmchugh]

If it helps, remember that the people on the other side absolutely do not feel the way you feel. Your current employer understands that employees will leave, and plans and budgets for that. That's why people talk about bus numbers.

Your prospective employers do not expect every coffee, phone screen, or interview to result in a new employee. They understand that they will talk to people who are a bad fit, and that's part of the process.

I respect that you feel that way, and have felt that way myself, but it gets in the way of advantageous moves.

[patio11]

This is, legitimately, one of the most comments ever written about the job search process on HN. Employers run a portfolio strategy for candidate selection, much like sales guys run a portfolio strategy with regards to leads. Making the wrong decision on a candidate/lead is totally acceptable. Missing an opportunity with a candidate/lead is totally acceptable. Spending time investigating a candidate/lead which doesn't work out is not just totally acceptable it is the entire freaking job. If an employer has a 100% acceptance rate on candidates or a salesman closes 100% of leads that is an alarming signal that the process is out of control: they're clearly not exposing enough people to it!

Candidates need to understand this.