[tajen]

OMG this is stressing me out so much. I coped with the dating game by dating men and becoming allergic to women's unreasonable expectations [1]. I was reasonably cute ("9.5/10" according to girls at uni), liked sports and programmer job, but I'm ending up unsatisfied in life. Part of it is not encountering enough girls, the other part is not knowing what to do to meet more, third part was succeeding to improve things but then being dumped abroad while still in culture shock in a not-nice-at-all break-up. Part 4 is, not recovering from that break-up, trust issues with girls, and we're 10 years later, still a wreak, while virtually quite rich from my stock options, and startup founder.

I used to go out of my way to be generous, give back to the society and be nice to people. I don't know why, I secretely hoped to get support in case of a major event. But no-one counted/counts that break-up as relevant, and the social fabric wasn't here to hug me when I needed it. Now I vote for individualism and I'm in life for money. I'm voting so far-right, I feel like Hitler.

Life isn't nice for losers, and I've lost the game. Starting as a programmer doesn't help. In 2006 when it was a mostly-male environment. Through 2012 when only women were promoted around me. Didn't help.

Has anyone here been so low? Given up so much of their values because of insatisfaction? but succeeded to improve his character later in life? Needless to say, I don't like who I am now.

[1] To be clear, I still believe in equality and I'm the (only) one trying to bring Lego and science to my goddaughter.