[jib]

Or to think that it doesn't matter what happens externally.

Aurelius says something like "How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised by anything that happens in life." As in, why would external events matter or be a surprise? Things happen. The only thing you can control is how you react to them and what you choose to do about them. That helps me at least. It's all about process, not outcomes. Outcome is a roll of the die, so all you can do is make sure your internal processes are sound.