Fair enough, you don't have to push updates. My wording should have been more precise. Apple can pull or disable apps. Not sure about direct OS pushes. But they can at least soft force you get an update by bundling desired features with undesired features.
You don't have to jailbreak to avoid updates - neither Apple nor app developers have the ability to force updates upon your phone. Both iTunes and the App Store ask for permission before updating your device and apps.
There is the remote app killswitch functionality, but Android has that as well.
I don't believe iPhone or Android devices have a user-facing toggle... there might be some way to hack it out, but I'm not sure.
I don't think it's ever been used on either device, so it hasn't exactly been a burning issue yet; the stated purpose is only in the event of a highly malicious application.