There are, at least, things like Termux (https://termux.com/), on Android. Just for laughs, I've been doing actual work (using git, vim, and Go) in Termux on my Nexus 10. Only two things got in my way: screen size and the inability to have a browser and terminal on screen at once. What's particularly sweet about Termux is that it has an APT-based package manager.
Given the right tools, even something as locked down as an Android tablet can be surprisingly effective development tool.
Windows had an msdos assembler preinstalled, last time I checked, which was before vista. Now the 16bit support was removed, but edge comes with a javascript engine, right?
With asm I referred to the OP, the javascript engine bit could relate to the chrome developer tools a chromebook should sport or to sites like jsfiddle, codepen, the msp430 challenge at microcorruption.com, etc. etc. I tried to concur with you, basically.