[m0nty]

I'm a bit reluctant to post this, because nobody here is going to be able to fix your situation for you, but a few thoughts. As someone pushing 50 this year, if I had your freedom to just do anything, I'd be off in a heartbeat. Off to another part of the country or a different country entirely. Making that 5,000-mile bike-trip or just walking off somewhere with a back-pack and some camping gear. You might say "it's not that simple", but maybe it could be if you thought about it for a while?

Remember that wasting time at 20 seems OK, wasting it at 30 will make you nervous, and if you're still doing it at 40, you'll wonder where all the time went. It really happens surprisingly fast - at 29, you feel young, but a short decade later, you'll fret about being "too old" (which is an illusion, but it takes a while to know that). Don't worry that you'll mess up your career or anything else by taking some time to do something adventurous. Pretty much whatever you do, you'll look back and thank yourself for stepping out rather than hunkering down.

BTW, as for "work is very intense" - it probably isn't worth it. I burnt out once after a few years of very intense, very committed work. I wasn't better off at the end of it and nobody says "thank you", not sincerely anyway. And after you leave, the waters close around you and it will be like you were never there. So if you're not enjoying it, maybe it's the kind of bullshit you can do without?

[cconroy]

`I burnt out once after a few years of very intense, very committed work. I wasn't better off at the end of it and nobody says "thank you", not sincerely anyway. And after you leave, the waters close around you and it will be like you were never there.`

Wow that imagery is powerfully sad. Corporate culture and its structural constraints makes monsters of all of us.

[m0nty]

> Wow that imagery is powerfully sad

I didn't mean it to be ;) I'm an optimist at heart, honestly, and I'm not sitting here feeling I've wasted my life or anything. But there are some things I wouldn't do again if I had my time again, and working hard for unappreciative, self-centred people is one of them.

[jacquesm]

> working hard for unappreciative, self-centred people is one of them.

That's a bit of a luxury, you don't always have that choice but on the whole I agree with the idea. I'd re-phrase it to don't work for assholes if you can avoid it. I'm fortunate enough now that this is a rare occurrence but even now every now and then a deal goes by that is financially too sweet to let go and I still take them. Last year this happened once, the previous 3 years not at all. So unless you're totally secure in your finances keep that door open a crack.

[m0nty]

It's interesting you say this, I currently have four weeks to run on a very well-paying contract which I chose to terminate. The money's been nice, and so are the people I work with, but I have enough in the bank now where I can take a chance on doing something different without risking financial hardship. Let's just say that, after two heart surgeries last year, I don't mind taking the risk that my plans fall over and I end up going back to an IT gig sometime in the indeterminate future :) In the meantime, I'm just enjoying the sense of possibility and freedom.

[jacquesm]

That's a reasonable middle ground. But it does show clearly that those 'annoying but high paying jobs' have a place in the armory.

Good to see you on this side of the line after two heart surgeries.

[tdsamardzhiev]

Great insight, thanks for sharing. Godspeed to you!

[aswanson]

Upvoted. Thanks for saving me from typing a few paragraphs, you hit my sentiment spot on, esp, re: options from 20-40. It sounds like he/she needs to sever a few anchors (job, location) and just do something that reignites some life fire. It damn sure is not going to get easier as time passes. Worse, he/she may become less sensitive to the obviously dysfunctional situation and just live a life of learned helplessness.

[ibejoeb]

>Don't worry that you'll mess up your career or anything else by taking some time to do something adventurous

If I could go back and tell myself something, or if I had kids to advise, this is the essence of it.

Once you've got your basic needs met, anything you do to enrich your character is going to make you a more compelling person. Don't squander your 20s and 30s. Take advantage of opportunities that present themselves, because it's a lot harder to cultivate new opportunities from scratch.

GP, if you can actually afford to pick up and try something new, you really ought to do it. It's so easy nowadays: pick a city and spend two weeks at an Airbnb. If you like it, stay longer, and if not, go back or go somewhere else.