[w1ntermute]

Yeah, that definitely happens. If being a founder is out of the question (which, as others have said, is the only situation in which you should value options as nonzero) yet you want to work in startups, then your focus should really be on becoming Magic Mike. Actually getting a chance to "grow with the company" is the exception, not the rule, even if it occasionally happens in engineering.

The idea that just hiring a team lead from Amagoofacesoft will solve all your engineering management problems is deeply embedded in the Valley ("nobody ever got fired for going with IBM"). Never mind that you'll be scraping the bottom of the middle management barrel at those companies, since the really good ones aren't going to leave.