[mwhuang2]

Growing up, it felt like I was raised with the sole purpose of attending an elite college. I took AP classes, did SAT prep, and signed up for all the right extracurriculars, but my heart was never in it, and I couldn't force myself through in the end.

I ended up getting rejected from all but my safeties when applying to colleges. It felt like I was dead inside; I'd go through my daily motions, but I basically lost my interest in living for a while.

[mercer]

A friend of mine is in a similar situation. When we talk about it I often find myself frustrated because I'm the complete opposite.

I was raised in a kind of hippie-environment where I could do what I wanted as long as I got acceptable grades and didn't get into trouble. While perhaps as a result me and my siblings are not the most ambitious of people (at least not conventionally so), I can say that I've had a very happy and even successful life so far. Definitely less stressful than that of many of my friends who were raised to be ambitious (and then weren't able to 'satisfy' this ambition).

Could you tell me more about what you did or what happened to you since that 'for a while' period that you describe? I have no desire to prescribe to my friend what he should do, but I'm kind of expecting a personal crisis of sorts in the near future as he seems to be able to only barely managing the ambitious environment he's in and the anxiety-filled, high-pressure life he's led so far. If/when he doesn't succeed, it might shatter his high expectations. I'd love to hear how others dealt with similar situations.

[mwhuang2]

Sure, I'll share. After my rejections, I kind of fell apart during senior year of high school. I was extremely depressed and ended up almost failing all of my classes. In the end, I barely made it to graduation and was more relieved than happy about finishing.

Post-graduation, I went straight to college and tried to put the past behind me. I started off pretty strong, but it was clear that I still lacked maturity, and my grades took a nosedive during my second semester.

I ended up being disqualified from my scholarships, so I left school for a year to figure things out. I worked full-time and took courses at community college to keep myself busy. It took a lot of effort and introspection, but I finally transferred back to college and started working on my computer science degree.

Now I'm doing much better, having grown a lot as a person. I've also landed two internships since then and gotten involved with plenty of extracurriculars and social activities on the side. My path wasn't as smooth as it could've been, but I don't regret much about my experiences. Failing at a young age taught me to shrug off shortcomings and made me a stronger person for the future.