[techcode]

Maybe manager says "So it's not just me thinking that", or "I've noticed guys can be pretty hard on you at times. Since you haven't brought it up, I thought you're ok with it"...

I can think of million other things that might or might not happen.

And I know only one way to really find out - try and see. Are there other ways?

[dpark]

Suppose the manager has those reactions. What then? They'll sit down with the team and have the "don't be mean" talk? I'm just not sure I see that working well. That seems more likely to breed resentment even if it resolves the superficial "combative" behavior.

I'd probably try talking to the individual team members 1:1. As uncomfortable as that would be, I think it is a better bet than having it come from the manager.

[orangepenguin]

Good point. If I am as mature an adult as I believe myself to be, I ought to be able to have a peaceful conversation about this with a couple of coworkers individually. Definitely would be better than putting them on the defensive by sending a manager after them.