[keefe]

It's not something you have to play. Some of the dominant behaviors such as disinterest etc. are a result of your current state - I'm preoccupied with an important problem and not interested in other people, for example. Mirroring also happens naturally under certain circumstances. There are certainly subconscious things like this that come out- but the minute you decide to "play" status and deliberately take an action because of your status game and you get caught, whoever you are playing loses absolutely all respect for you. You've also got a much higher chance for failure with the people you really need (as they will be competent). I don't care to be manipulated whatsoever and I don't care about hierarchical power structures or power games that dominate many lives. All I (and many other people) care about is advancing our goals - if I work for someone, I am going to behave differently because I am working towards their goals, not mine - but I expect all my professional interactions to be goal oriented or problem oriented.

[bkovitz]

I wonder if we're having a Violent Agreement.

I'm not saying that you have to consciously play status ("decide to play"). I'm saying that when you interact with someone else, you are playing a certain level of status in relation to them, whether you are aware of it or not.

Engaging in some phony behavior will, of course, make people perceive you as a phony, with all the loss of respect that that entails. Respect, of course, is a big part of status. When you don't respect someone, you tend to play higher status toward them.