[m_fayer]

I've met (only a few) devs who are as you describe, but instead of socially incompetent assholes they were committed to humility, cooperation, and professionalism in the best sense of the word. They were better leaders than what you describe.

I actually don't get where this stereotype that the best in our field are inevitably jerks comes from. If you're smart enough to rise to the top engineering-wise, you're probably also smart enough to realize that ours is a collaborative field, no one is right 100% of the time, and that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.