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by MaulingMonkey 3852 days ago
> That's not a rock-star, it's not what the term means.

How are we defining "your best devs" then, exactly, if "rock star who's also a jerk" isn't a contradiction?

> As for your main point, most people don't want to deal with jerks, so what? That doesn't mean anything when it comes to whether the jerk is a good leader or not.

Do you not see the inherit conflict between being "a good leader" and "driving away the talent on your team"? If your leader is toxic enough that everyone would rather quit than work with them, how are they supposed to function as a leader? There's going to be nobody left to lead!

Let's say they're not quite that toxic. Instead, they're merely driving down morale, merely making everyone want to think about anything but work, stressing them out. Will these people be bringing their A game? And doing their best work? And communicating effectively with leadership so the correct work gets done, instead of avoiding the jerk as much as possible?

Let's say they're not quite that toxic. Instead, they just forgot to bring doughnuts into work on your birthday. Are they actually a jerk?

> Naturally they find ways to take charge of a leaderless group

No such thing. There may be no official leader, or no clear singular leader, but if nothing else people will always lead themselves. Anyone displacing that leadership must provide more value than what exists for their leadership to be a net positive. That may be a fairly low bar at times, but sufficiently toxic individuals won't clear it - as they'll be removing value instead.

> The smart guy you think would make a better leader, generally doesn't want to be leader and will let the jerk take charge; that actually disqualifies them as good leaders because a good leader wouldn't do that.

Well, I'd agree it isn't good leadership. I've seen people learn from this mistake.

1 comments

>"If your leader is toxic enough that everyone would rather quit than work with them, how are they supposed to function as a leader?"

No one said toxic. They said jerk.

I quite like working with a bunch of opinionated assholes that are willing to argue to the bottom of something, and have no personal investment in me liking them.

The great thing about jerks is that they don't take it personally. When you see the jerk the next day, you're still at square one. You will always be at square one.

Not friends, not enemies, just coworkers doing your job -- willing to step on each others toes to get things done the right way.

I've worked at places where everyone is nice. It's hell. "Nice" people are bad: morally, ethically, and for the bottom line.

> No one said toxic. They said jerk.

Being a jerk is toxic. Being an asshole is toxic. If they're not toxic, why are you calling them these things?

> I quite like working with a bunch of opinionated assholes that are willing to argue to the bottom of something, and have no personal investment in me liking them.

I like working with opinionated people that are willing to argue to the bottom of something. So much so that I ended up following the most argumentative person from my previous job to my current one.

None of that required them to be an asshole. We have a boardgames night every couple of weeks now.

> The great thing about jerks is that they don't take it personally.

Jerks tend to make it personal. That's one of the main reasons they tend to be jerks!

> Not friends, not enemies, just coworkers doing your job

I'm entirely fine with professional relationships. Professional doesn't imply jerk.

> willing to step on each others toes to get things done the right way.

Sure. But a professional can do this without finding their cleats and stomping as hard as they can.

> I've worked at places where everyone is nice. It's hell. "Nice" people are bad: morally, ethically, and for the bottom line.

Your inconsistent air quotes betray the problem here, I think.

People who are bad morally and ethically are not nice people. They are jerks. They are assholes. That some of them are grinfucking everyone to appear nice doesn't make them nice.

And, conversely, the fact that some people aren't grinfucking you doesn't make them jerks. That they're willing to debate something honestly with you doesn't make them an asshole. That they're trying to do things right - and save your team from future stress, crunch, or whatever other consequences would come from doing things wrong - sounds like they're trying to do everyone a favor. If anything, they sound nice.

-------

EDIT: Ultimately, I wonder how much of this thread is you saying...

Rock star "jerks"

And me hearing...

"Rock star" jerks

At most of the places I've worked, especially outside of tech, "professional relationships", "aren't grinfucking you" and "willing to debate something honestly" are the three criteria for being instantly labeled a jerk.

Your edit is correct.

> EDIT: Ultimately, I wonder how much of this thread is you saying...

You don't seem to realize you're talking to more than one person.