| Yes. I did this. And then the day after graduating had an extreme realization that I had no idea why I was doing anything. I'd been on autopilot for the last 9 years. Ran myself into the ground in highschool to graduate top of the class. Killed myself in college to graduate with honors and have a job before graduating. And then I graduated and realized that the next 40 years were in front of me. I didn't know what I wanted for myself. I had "achieved it!". I had graduated and had a job that would secure me more money than I would know what to do with, but I didn't know how to make myself happy. I didn't know how to pace myself. I still don't. When I get an exciting project at work, I pour my god damn soul into it. And I love it. And then three months later I come up for air and realize that a word outside of my computer exists... and then I spend a week re-normalizing and getting to the point where I could walk outside and appreciate fresh air instead of thinking about where I needed to be in X + 10 minutes. Some of it's on me. I grew up in a high-strung household with parents that are currently having anxiety problems because retirement is in the future and they don't know "what to do". rantier part: Fuck the older generations that shit talk on millenials. I KNOW you weren't working your asses off like this in highschool and college, and I'm sick of hearing you toot your own horn because your mind is addled and you've forgotten your teen and twenties' years. I still don't know how to truly relax and be happy. A week of vacation for me translates into about 2 days of actual relaxation. The first 5 days are spent going "wait, what the hell do I do now?" |