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I once had a very bad episode where I didn't take my medication as I ran out. It's an anti-depressant, not an anti-psychotic or anything like that as I just have depression. I felt restless that night, and I'd just been made redundant, so I drove my car to an all-night diner. For whatever reason, I somehow managed to go through a red light and a cop pulled me over and issued me with a $500 ticket. I basically felt destroyed inside. I'd just lost my job, I was hungry, and I felt I'd just let down my family - and I was suffering from withdrawal from the anti-depressants. I freaked out, left my car and wandered the streets. I honestly can't recall much, but I do know it started raining on me and I do know I was thinking about death. The police came and put me in an ambulance. I arrived in the ED, and was placed in a mental health ward. It was the worst experience of my life. I have never been treated so badly, or had my rights and dignity stripped away so thoroughly and systematically. They didn't chart my medication properly, they put me in a freezing room overnight with not enough bedsheets, the building leaked everywhere (even the light sockets had water going through it), there were people having psychotic episodes or hearing voices, it was terrible food and no staff gave me any counselling or even asked how I was. What's worse was that I recovered very, very quickly so I was fully cognizant of what was happening. When I asked for my correct medication, I was told I was being unreasonable and "You don't get anywhere here by being demanding you know!" was the answer given to me by the nurse on duty (I put in a complaint and then admitted they had made a major mistake in charting my medication). So THAT'S why we don't institutionalise people. I don't care what facility it is, if the person isn't harming themselves, that's the wrong place for them. I can assure you, if I ever have thoughts of suicide, I will never admit it to the police or any health worker in case they put me back in that place. One night in that place was more than enough. I will either commit the act (God, I hope it never gets that bad!) or I'll suffer in silence. |