[rwallace]

The problem is that words like 'selfish' are personal; that's precisely their meaning. It's one thing to say 'don't take it so personal' in a technical discussion where it should be clear to all participants that e.g. pointing out a bug in someone's code is not a personal thing, but if you're going to make remarks on topics that are personal rather than technical, you should either phrase them more tactfully, or else stick to using the Internet for technical discussions.