[bobthechef]

Wrong. Nonsense invocations of nomenclature and pretentious obfuscations aside, your explanation came after the fact. When temperature scales were being constructed, neither thermodynamics nor atomic theory had been at the state you presuppose. What you state are not givens, they are conclusions of theories and explanations of the observations in terms of them. To say that temperature must by definition have an absolute zero isn't saying anything. Where did this definition come from? What is heat that temperature measures (yes, heat, not temperature)? Neither Fahrenheit nor Celsius knew. Current kinetic theory explains heat as exclusively the motion of microscopic things (not just atoms, btw) and it thus follows that the absence of motion must mean the absence of heat. In the 17th century, you might be telling us that absolute zero is complete dephlogistication. But why should temperature have an absolute zero? Without your theory of heat, or at least some intuition of it that frames heat as a quantity and cold merely the absence of heat, you have no reason to claim that temperature has a lower bound.

You really need to understand the order of dependence of explanations.