[Kluny]

How often do you do that? Does it work consistently? I'd like to try it and see if it works - I have a problem where when I'm at dinner with my family, the two old men in the room (my dad and uncle) will shout over the other three people at the table, excluding us from the conversation. I wonder if this technique would work, but I have the feeling they wouldn't even notice.

[harryjo]

In an argument, a common technique when someone yells at you is to lower your own voice. It makes the other person angrier and look stupider.

[pbhjpbhj]

I thought the point was to demonstrate you're not being violently aggressive [with your voice at least] and to get the person to have to pay closer attention, ie move in, at which point they risk escalating too much if they continue being very loud.

This to me is a defusing technique rather than an attempt to increase the other persons anger and to humiliate them.

Guess it depends on what you want to get out of the situation: you could adopt a quiet voice and non-threatening demeanour but be highly offensive with your language and probably achieve the ends you mention quite well.

[LordKano]

It doesn't happen often and consequently, I don't have to do it often. I doubt that it would work on family.