[JoeAltmaier]

I understand this is a problem. But any unassertive person has these problems. And being called 'shrill' or 'aggressive' can be fine at work.

Shouting down is not the solution. Its better done by expressing annoyance, immediately, when talked over. Maybe white males learn this early on the playground. But anybody can learn this.

[DanBC]

"we promoted Bob because he's assertive. We didn't promote Ann because she's shrill."

[tomp]

"we promoted Bob because he makes good decisions and motivates others to follow him. We didn't promote Ann because she's trying to enforce her suboptimal decisions by using her authority"

[harryjo]

Your quotation is less faithful to what actually shows up in performance evaluation than the comment you responded to.

[tomp]

Maybe, but DanBC is likewise only highlighting one option.

In my experience, that is by far the less likely. Leaders are called leaders because they lead people who choose to follow. If you're forcing others to follow, you're not a leader, you're an authoritarian. I haven't met many of the latter, but plenty of the former, none of which I would describe as "assertive".

[nommm-nommm]

Here's some actual data on actual performance reviews.

http://fortune.com/2014/08/26/performance-review-gender-bias...

When breaking the reviews down by gender of the person evaluated, 58.9% of the reviews received by men contained critical feedback. 87.9% of the reviews received by women did.

Men are given constructive suggestions. Women are given constructive suggestions – and told to pipe down.

There’s a common perception that women in technology endure personality feedback that their male peers just don’t receive. Words like bossy, abrasive, strident, and aggressive are used to describe women’s behaviors when they lead; words like emotional and irrational describe their behaviors when they object. All of these words show up at least twice in the women’s review text I reviewed, some much more often. Abrasive alone is used 17 times to describe 13 different women. Among these words, only aggressive shows up in men’s reviews at all. It shows up three times, twice with an exhortation to be more of it.

>Maybe white males learn this early on the playground. But anybody can learn this.

You're missing the point. The point is the -exact- same behaviors are seen through a cultural lens.

[tomp]

How do you know it's the exact same behaviours? Maybe there actually is a difference in behaviour? Your quite does sound plausible.

[e40]

I understand this is a problem. But any unassertive person has these problems. And being called 'shrill' or 'aggressive' can be fine at work.

That works after you have the job, not before.