Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by ap22213 3908 days ago
Yep - lots of fighting - bar fights, street fights, amongst other things (at least as a kid).

I turned 40 this year, so it could be an age thing. When I was 20, I probably seemed more similar to you. At least, I was certainly motivated by similar things. I lifted a lot of weights (when I maxed out I weighed around 230 lb), etc. and really identified with masculinity and various male roles.

When I say being more male, I'm not talking about being more 'feminine' (which would just be the opposite), just more Human. For instance, in the past, I would (subconsciously) say to myself, 'what is the right thing to do as a brother, father, son, husband, man?'. Now, I say, 'what actions should I take so that I enjoy my life, the people I care about, the ideas I believe in, etc.?'

1 comments

As a younger man and husband (28) who is struggling to find his own way, I find that saying "what actions should I take so that I enjoy my life, the people I care about, the ideas I believe in, etc.?", and following through with it, takes a lot of mental and emotional fortitude that must be built up and trained. I believe that having the self-respect to make a decision based on what you truly want, and then standing firm as everyone in your life fights against it, is something that is very masculine, though not exclusively masculine.