[mazerackham]

I had a similar situation at work recently. I've always been a high performer and natural leader. People love talking with me, they trust me with their problems, and I do the best I can to help them out. I lead from behind, and try to guide people forward. I've been a manager of a large team, and was up to be promoted to manage an even larger team. I left instead to start my own company. That company got acquired and I got a new manager. The new manager was terrible, and had no idea what was going on with the team. He regularly skipped 1:1s, and after almost 2 months of not talking with him, I get my review feedback.

He mentioned a lot of really positive qualities (great at technical work), but his one criticism for me was that I could "show more leadership". He failed to expound on that when I asked him for examples. He was so uninvolved with our day to day, he was rarely present. Little did he know, I was the one working behind the scenes keeping his flailing team together. This struck me down pretty hard, it was my first known experience with racism in the American workplace. My confidence shattered, and I started doubting myself. I hope to put this experience behind me soon, but it left some serious doubts for me, and honestly, it made me reconsider my previously ambitious aspirations. After this experience, I started really emphasizing with the experiences of women in the workplace.